Biblical Motherhood: Demonstrating the Fruit of the Spirit

Being a mother is the most challenging, yet most rewarding part of my life. New struggles and obstacles arise each day. How to parent an adolescent daughter developing her independence and identity. How to mother a kindergartener, tired and cranky after a long day at school. There’s always a new challenge that awaits me and often catches me by surprise. When I think I’ve “figured things out,” you better believe I haven’t.

Motherhood is not just a job; I believe it’s a calling God has entrusted to each of us mamas. The importance He places on children is evident in Matthew 19:14 when Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” He has granted us this great gift and responsibility of motherhood, these precious little humans to love and raise.

The work is a tremendous load to carry sometimes, but we don’t have to do it on our own. God is there guiding and leading us every step of the way. He has given us the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and other people in our community to help us in our journey of motherhood.

Let’s focus now on the fruit of the spirit (which are listed in Galatians 5:22-23), as they apply to our motherhood. The Holy Spirit has given us these nine amazing qualities that we can (and should) live out in our day-to-day lives. And especially model to our children.

Want to learn practical ways to apply these fruit of the spirit in your motherhood every day? Whether you’re in the trenches with “3 under 3” or all your kids are “finally” in school, we could all use these fruits in our lives. The good news is this: Jesus promises that we will bear much fruit if we abide in Him (John 15:5).

Keep reading if you want to bear this fruit! This blog post will briefly describe each fruit of the spirit and how you can apply each one. To make the greatest impact on your children and your ministry in motherhood.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Love

Unconditional love in the Bible is called Agape Love; it’s the greatest kind of love. It’s a love that never ends and is completely selfless. First, we need to reflect on how God demonstrates His love towards us. He gave the ultimate sacrifice. He sent His only Son to die for us, that’s how great God’s love is for His children. I can’t even begin to imagine such a great sacrifice.

As moms, our love for our children is unwavering; that’s the innate nature God has given us, to love and care for our children.

But daily demonstrating and living out that love is more difficult than you’d think.

Sometimes our life requires sacrifice as a mom (actually a lot of the time it does). Prime example right here: You plan to have the kids in bed (and asleep) by 8 pm. You plan to watch two episodes of your latest favorite show. Plans change. Your little girl is not feeling well and is struggling to fall asleep. It takes over an hour to calm her down.

But she’s worth it. You love her so much. You sacrifice that time you want to watch that TV show. Instead, you selflessly love your baby and give her what she needs. Okay, so that’s a seemingly minor sacrifice. But I can guarantee moms have to make multiple sacrifices each day to put their children’s needs first.

I’m not saying making time for yourself isn’t important (because it sure is!), but making our children’s needs a priority over ours is necessary. We need to lovingly, not begrudgingly serve and love them. We are to love each other because God first loved us.

What does that mean for you today?

Letting your to-do list go for now & taking time to love your children
Listening (with a loving heart) to your daughter vent about her rough day
Forgiving your child for breaking your new flower vase & choosing to love them anyway
Being more selfless (thinking less of your needs and more about the needs of others)

The Fruit of the Spirit is Joy

Despite the challenges of life, we are to exhibit joy. This means rejoicing in Christ and what He has done for us, instead of letting life get us down and discouraged.

This does not mean Mom has to be happy, smiling, and laughing at all times. Of course not. That’s not reality and that’s not what genuine joy is. It means that despite the bad day or heartbreak we are experiencing, our joy is found in Jesus Christ.

This true joy is a feeling of happiness or contentment that doesn’t depend on our circumstances, but on who Jesus Christ is.

What does joy look like in this season of your life? Maybe things are rough for you lately and it’s hard to see the joy in anything. I think we’ve all been there at one point.

Your baby is waking up multiple times a night and you are downright exhausted.
Your teenager is giving you a run for your money.
Your 6-year-old has been exhibiting rebellious behavior.
Your husband is working so much, which leaves you handling everything at home.

Whatever the case may be for you, you can still have joy. It means that despite all of these “bad circumstances,” focus on the joy you can encounter in Christ. You can still have an overall feeling of contentment with life because God is in control.

Keep in mind Nehemiah 8:10 which says, “The Joy of the Lord is my strength.”

The Fruit of the Spirit is Peace

Philippians 4:7 is such a powerful verse: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” God’s peace is so great and astounding that it literally “transcends all understanding.”

It’s a mom’s tendency to worry and have anxiety about everything we cannot control. Things we have no say over, we worry about almost constantly (am I the only one?) We worry about our kids. We worry about the scary world we live in. Instead of worry and fear, we need to ask God for this peace described in the book of Philippians.

How can God’s peace help you experience freedom from worry and anxiety today?

Do you have a financial crisis that concerns you? Give this over to God.
Do you have a health problem that is causing distress? Ask God for His peace.
Are you juggling a multitude of things at once? Again, God is the only one who can provide a sense of peace.

This requires constantly going to Christ and asking Him for peace. It’s not a one-and-done type of thing. It’s a daily, even hourly going into God’s presence. He will give you the sense of calm, the freedom from anxiety that you so desire.

If we have peace in our own hearts and minds, this will help us cultivate peace within our homes and to our children as well.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Patience

Oh, patience. One of the most difficult traits to learn for many of us. Patience while we are stuck behind a slow car (hurry up!) Patience in wanting our prayer request answered now. We all know and have experienced firsthand how difficult it can be to maintain a spirit of patience.

You’ve explained the math homework to your child 5 times and in 5 different ways. He is still not understanding it. Are you patient?

Your 4-year-old just had a tantrum of epic proportions because the shirt they want to wear is dirty. Are you patient with them?

I’m sure you’ve encountered at least one instance today where you needed patience with your child (or someone else in your life). Whatever the difficult situation, you stick with it. Without getting angry or complaining. Without getting annoyed and without giving up.

Again, the Holy Spirit can bestow patience upon us. Because we all know that it doesn’t come from our own self. It most surely requires supernatural strength to exemplify patience at all times!!

The Fruit of the Spirit is Kindness

We teach our children to be kind to new friends. We teach them to share. We teach them manners and to speak kind words to others. Kindness is most definitely an attribute we aspire our children to demonstrate.

But are we really, truly kind to them at all times?

We’ve all heard of random acts of kindness. Pay it forward. We do this for random strangers, but do we intentionally do kind deeds and speak kind words to our kids daily? The little people we love most in this world.

Life is busy, life moves fast. We need to run the kids to sports practice and to dance class. Cook them dinner, clean up after dinner, help them with homework, get them bathed, read them bedtime stories. There are always loads of things we need to do.

Can we do these activities with more kindness for our children?

Listening to them fully and completely
More smiles aimed their way
More hugs
A kind word, telling them how proud we are of them

I challenge you to slow down today and take a few extra seconds to shower kindness on your children. Be genuine. Be compassionate in the situations that require a little extra compassion from their mama.

Also, don’t forget to always show kindness to those you encounter, so you are modeling to your children what kindness truly looks like. They need to see kindness in action.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Goodness

Sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing. What if there’s no one in sight? What if you can get away with doing second best? Be morally good and virtuous no matter what. Goodness encompasses doing the right thing and teaching your children to do the right thing even when nobody is looking.

Kindness and goodness seem to be related. Think of it this way: kindness is more the heart attitude, and goodness is more the action (the choices we decide to make).

Many bible verses talk about the goodness of God: “The Lord is good,” “how great is your goodness,” and “taste and see that the Lord is good.” Just as God is good to us, we should strive to be good as well, choosing to do what is right and holy before God.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Faithfulness

Someone who is “all in,” who is fully committed to us. That is what we long for in a spouse or a best friend. And I believe that is exactly what faithfulness is. Remaining loyal and steadfast despite the circumstances of life.

Teach your children and model for them how to remain faithful. Faithfulness can be demonstrated to many people and in many different ways.

Faithfulness to God (first & foremost)
Faithfulness to your husband
Faithfulness to your responsibilities
Faithfulness to your children
Faithfulness to your friends
Faithfulness to your God-given calling

I believe it also includes trusting God with the outcome of your life. We must trust in the Lord with all our hearts. This is a powerful way to show faithfulness to God!

What does faithfulness look like, practically speaking?

Showing up in your motherhood faithfully everyday.
Showing up for your kids and their needs.
Being a constant for your children, someone they can faithfully depend on no matter what.
Someone that keeps their word. Truth even in the smallest things.
Being there for a friend in need.
Not shirking on your responsibilities in your home.

Having a daily quiet time with God will demonstrate to your children the importance of God in your life. Be devoted and intentional with making this time with God your greatest priority. Your children will notice faithfulness to your Heavenly Father and faithfulness to the duties to which God has called you.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Gentleness

We tell our toddler to be gentle with their newborn sibling. Or we encourage our child to be gentle with their new pet kitten. Gentleness isn’t a trait people would normally think of instilling in their children, but God speaks a lot about it!

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:11

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting opponents with gentleness. 2 Timothy 2:24-25

Interestingly, this verse includes both the attributes of kindness and gentleness.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29

Jesus says he is “gentle and lowly in heart” and we find rest for our souls in Him. Be a place where your children can find rest. Where they can find a mother who is gentle with them and their feelings, a place of comfort (just as Jesus is for us!)

In the way you correct and discipline your children, do it with gentleness. In the way you approach people and difficult conversations, I encourage you to do it with gentleness.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Self-control

Controlling your emotions. Controlling your anger. Easier said than done. The Bible says, “be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). This verse seems to acknowledge the fact that we will in fact feel anger, but it is how we handle the situation that matters here. Do not sin, do not lash out, and do not use harsh words.

Your two sons are fighting with each other, can you stay calm and in control of the situation? How do you react?

Your toddler head butts you (oww!) and it really hurts! Again, what is your immediate reaction? Do you scream and yell or are you in control of your emotions?

Take a few deep breaths. Take a moment to ask God for wisdom or ask Him to help you keep your mouth shut (sometimes that’s what we need help with!). You are allowed to be angry, but not to let yourself get out of control. React in a way that exhibits self-control and not the opposite.

Resist the temptation to do or say something you’ll regret later. We all know this is hard to do, but God calls us to a life of self-control.

How Do We Build These Fruits in our Life?

As mothers, our greatest role is to mold and shape the lives of our children. We are to be an example to the treasures God has entrusted us with. By learning the fruit of the spirit and how to apply it to our everyday motherhood, we can in a way, show Jesus to our kids.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

Live out the fruit of the spirit in your everyday life. Unconditional love. Joy despite the challenges of life. Cultivate peace in your own heart and your home. Practice patience with your children. Sprinkle kindness on those around you. Do good. Be a faithful person. Show gentleness to all. Be self-controlled, not giving in to temptation.

What are some action steps you can do next? Ask God who gives generously to all! Spend time in His Word so He can teach you. Focus on the fruit of the spirit you struggle with most and plan to work on developing it this week.

We cannot do this on our own. But thankfully, we have the greatest Helper we could ever ask for, the Holy Spirit. To lead and to guide us.

Every step of the way. Every second of each day.