Moms have so many responsibilities, whether you work from home, stay at home full time, or work outside the house. The list is endless. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have, 1, 4 or 14, a mom’s to-do list is jam-packed full of things that NEED to be done and things that SHOULD get done.
I am a Mama to 4 kids (ages 4-11) and I’d love to share some productivity tips with you that I’ve learned in my journey of motherhood. I don’t want to compromise on the aspect of being a PRESENT MOM though.
Our kids will remember and cherish the TIME we spent with them, rather than how clean our house was. I’m not sayings cleanliness isn’t important, because it certainly is. People are going to notice if you have no clean clothes and a kitchen covered in dirty dishes.
Balance is key though. Balance is hard, but it is key.
So, how can you be both PRODUCTIVE and PRESENT?? Is it possible to have both?
I have some tips to help you balance this aspect of your life. Keep reading for some motivation and ideas if you’re struggling to be productive or present or both!
Tip #1-Involve your kids in your to-do list.
Maybe your to-do list is long and overwhelming. Maybe you have 20 things that are looming over your head. I definitely feel that way sometimes. It’s as if I can’t keep my head above the water with the housework, not to mention the little people that are calling on me every 5 minutes.
I encourage you to begin including your kids in the “kid-friendly” tasks. Will it take longer? Probably yes. More than likely, yes. As your kids get older, however, they will become more helpful. Plus, they will need to learn these skills eventually, so why not teach them now?!
Let’s say you want to bake some chocolate chip cookies. Yes, it’s definitely quicker (maybe a little less stressful and a lot less messy) to do it on your own. BUT I have one daughter in particular who absolutely LOVES to help in the kitchen. I can choose to be present with her and involve her, while being productive at the same time!
The next item on your to-do list is folding the massive pile of laundry, the result of four kids and two adults. Should you involve your kids in this? I do! You can teach them the skill of folding laundry, talk to them, and BE WITH THEM. That’s what they want most from you-the TIME, the CONVERSATION, and the ATTENTION.
Tip #2 – Accomplish a task with your kids nearby.
I love listening in on my kids and their amazing imaginations as they play. It is fascinating to me the ideas and conversations they come up with. So, sometimes I will choose to complete tasks close to them as they play.
If I have an e-mail I need to send out, I can bring my laptop to where they are playing and do it near them. I explain to them that “mom has a work task to complete, but I still want to be next to you.” That way, they know you are going to be a little preoccupied, but you can also be present. Or while doing dishes, I may have my girls sit at the counter and color. That way we can still spend time together, but I am accomplishing a task, and they are doing something they enjoy as well.
Figure out what works best for you and your kids, so that you can spend quality time together, but not feel stressed out either.
Tip #3-Have your personal morning routine complete before your kids are awake.
This one can be a doozy at first. Who wants to wake up an hour, even two hours before their kids? If you want to be more present when your kids roll out of bed in the morning, be productive first. Get yourself ready and nourished, so you can focus on them without all the distractions.
I promise you will have a better attitude towards your kids and will maybe even exhibit more patience than normal. Waking up to a kid crying or being forced awake by a kid jumping on you is definitely not how I want to wake up!
That’s why I choose to have a Mommy Morning Routine where I can nourish my soul, move my body, prepare my appearance, and nourish my body, all BEFORE my kids join the party!
Tip #4-Dedicate time to spend 1-on-1 with each child.
This can be as little as 10-15 minutes, as long as it’s time specifically dedicated to that child. Not time checking your phone or leaving the room to accomplish another task. Time to play or do whatever they choose for a short amount of time will fill their cup and yours too!
I personally DO NOT enjoy playing with my kids. My imagination is lacking when it comes to pretend play with Barbies, dolls, and all the others myriad of toys my kids have. Truthfully, 15 minutes is the maximum amount of time I can mentally take in one sitting. BUT I know it means the world to my kids, so I put in the effort.
My preference is playing a game or doing a craft activity, but any activity where you can interact and talk with your kids will work great! Determine a time each day when you can be present and devote 1-on-1 time with each of your kiddos.
Tip #5-Use electronics to your advantage!
I have chosen to have a designated time for electronics in our daily routine. Electronics can be a lifesaver, at times, although I mostly like to do without. If there is a specific task that needs my undivided attention, I’ve found the perfect solution for tackling it is when my children are engrossed in a show or a game on their tablet. That’s why I use electronics to my advantage, ONLY when I need it or when they need it for a 20-minute winddown time.
I would encourage you to refrain from using the television as background noise or to have your children get on electronic devices as soon as they wake up or right before bed. There are so many other activities they could be doing which are screen-free. True, these activities may require more cleanup or more arguing between siblings, but I guarantee that our kids will benefit from less screen time!
Sometimes mornings in our home start with requests for tablet time, but we’ve established a specific time slot for this, which works wonders. The strategic use of this tech-time not only helps maintain a balanced day but also ensures I stay on top of my to-dos.
Tip #6-Balance your focus between your family and personal time.
Moms need time to themselves! We need time to do what matters to us.
Here’s an example of how I can squeeze in a little time for what fills my cup:
When I take my kids to the park (which they request often), I bring along my Kindle and wear my comfortable tennis shoes. I will push the kids on the swing for a few minutes. While my kids play with their friends, I find a bench to enjoy reading for a while. I can help my daughter on the monkey bars, and then I take a leisurely stroll around the perimeter of the park. It’s a delightful balance: my kids receive my attention, and I get to engage in activities I enjoy.
Interestingly, my children often prefer to play with their friends rather than just with me. But that’s perfectly fine—I relish the opportunity to move my body and spend some time reading. It’s a win-win situation!
Figure out other times of the week where you can squeeze in some more time for you. If you want to give fully to your family and other important people in your life, you need to also take time to recharge your battery.
Tip #7-Know the love language of your family members.
Love languages are based on a book by Gary Smalley and there’s even a website with more information that you can check out! In summary, the 5 love languages are physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. Each person has one or two love languages that they rate higher on compared to the others. If you know your family members love languages, it holds greater significance when you show them love in that particular way.
By understanding and prioritizing how your children feel loved, you can create a happier environment for everyone. I believe there’s even a quiz you can take to determine love languages and ideas on how to implement them each day.
For instance, if my son’s love language is words of affirmation, I need to make sure to give him some positive words throughout the day. If my oldest daughter’s love language is quality time, I need to make sure I’m focusing more on that than the other four love languages.
You could put in so much effort with physical touch, not even realizing that physical touch may be last priority for someone. If you want to learn more about your kids and how you can best love and parent them, be sure to check out the 5 Love Languages!
Tip #8-Spend time in prayer first thing each day.
Before interacting with anyone, spend time talking to God. Pray for God’s guidance to show up for your family each day and to be the best wife and mom you can be. God can help you with your attitude, your words, your actions, and anything else you struggle with. Do you desire to be the best wife and mama you can be? God can help you! You just need to ask Him.
Seek God and how He wants you to spend your day. Seek opportunities to speak wisdom and truth into your children’s lives. Do you struggle with speaking in a kind tone to your child? Again, ask God to help you in this area of your life.
Don’t wait to pray. Make it a priority first thing in the morning, but also throughout the day. We can even “pray without ceasing,” which means anytime we want, we can pray.
At the end of the day, I could be ticking things off my list left and right, but if I’m not giving my little ones or my partner the time they deserve, did I really nail it? Nope. It’s all about hitting that sweet spot where I get stuff done and spread the love at home.
It’s about taking care of my family to the best of my ability while lovingly guiding my children in the way God has called me. I encourage you to be present with your family as much as you can, but to also care for your home and yourself!